Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, the clock in my mind begins ticking away. Ticking away at the possibility. The possibility of the future that has yet to surface. Journey after journey, revelation after revelation. (Is this all that there is?) “NO! get out of my head darkness, you aren’t welcome here.” I scream with a resounding resolve to eliminate the evil scourging the surface of my thoughts. “You will not get into the sanctuary of my head, my walls are up, and you WILL leave,” I declared this as if I had the confidence of a king, commander of all which is myself. Pulling back, memories flood in (Why? Are you here to destroy me? NOT TODAY!) Battling mind with mind , a relentless deluge of thoughts flood my brain. My only thought at this point was (Hopelessness), struggling to find a way out. “Hopelessness?” I laughed. “No, you will not conquer me.” As I smiled, a warming peace filled my body to the darkest depths of my soul. Suddenly, an image comes to mind, every thought that once consumed me is shattering like glass, as a bright light pierces darkness that was consuming my sanctuary. Now, I walk along a road, a road surrounded by a light. A light radiating so brightly that not even a shadow dares to take shape. The chaos settles, there is no longer a war of uncertainty exchanging blows. My sanctuary, once compiled of Pandora’s Box, is exposed.”What is this? So bright, so warm, there is nothing left except peace. The only thing left to do is explore and build a foundation in this new light. An even greater kingdom will come. A kingdom that isn’t self destructive.”
To my future family/kids: I once screamed for help, hurt just to feel, but now I have come to the light. I am so thankful that you never had to experience the bleak and lifeless boy that I was. I am now a man, a leader after your own hearts. I will pursue you until the day that I die. No matter what you may do in life, no matter the severity, I will always be here for you children. To my wife, if I don’t pursue you, you might as well leave hun, because I am not the man you need to grow in love with. My love, you are a treasure. Thank you for everything you will do in my life.